Archive for the ‘Music’ Category

Ipswich Town v Middlesbrough, Sunday 19th April 2026, 12 noon

April 22, 2026

I hadn’t intended to take in the Boro’s game at Portman Road, as it clashed with a weekend in London based around a Saturday night Booker T Jones gig at Koko in Camden. However, and in a rare pleasant surprise, SKY’s tampering with the fixtures worked in my favour and the switch to a Sunday lunchtime kick-off meant that by rearranging my train ticket home, I was able to attend both events.

Booker T was really good. He sat at the organ for most of the gig but had a couple of stints front and central with a guitar. All I really wanted to hear was Green Onions and he didn’t disappoint. It’s a song that can instantly transport me back to Bentley’s night club in 81/82. The rest of the set was excellent too and went down well with a near capacity crowd in what really is a very good venue.

I watched most of the set from the floor, but later on Jen and I listened to a track or two from the rooftop terrace. It was warm enough to enjoy the outdoor air whilst still being within listening distance of the band.

Next morning I took the train to Ipswich and  strolled downhill from the station to Portman Road. It’s forty-five years since I’d been to a game there. On the last occasion, it was half-term in my final year at school. My mate Nico and I went on the official supporter’s bus for a night game. As was normal in those days, we got beat, although with Ipswich chasing the league title that should have been expected. I assume that we won’t have got home until around four the next morning.

There wasn’t a lot of optimism ahead of this game either. It’s a month since I last saw us, in the goalless draw at Ewood Park, and in that time we’ve taken only two points from a possible nine and slipped from second to fifth place in the table. Just about all of those games will have been considered ‘must win’ fixtures by most, but three points really were needed from this match if we were to have any hopes of automatic promotion.

I had a seat in Row A of the lower tier. It meant that I didn’t really have much perspective of the play, but it made a change to see things from close up and, with only stewards in front of me, it was nice to be able to sit down at an away game.

Ipswich might have been the better side in the first half, but we shaded the second. It looked as if we might leave with the three points necessary to keep our hopes of automatic alive as we went into the final two minutes a goal up. It wasn’t to be though, and another soft penalty of the kind that never seems to be awarded in our favour allowed Ipswich to claim a spawny two-all draw.

The result leaves us in fifth, three points behind Ipswich who have a game in hand but also trailing Southampton and Millwall. If we get our injured players back on the pitch, I’d fancy our chances against any of those teams in the play-offs, which is just as well, as that looks like the only route available now.

Leyton Orient v Rotherham United, Saturday 18th April 2026, 3pm

April 21, 2026

Jen and I were down in London for the weekend, primarily for a Saturday night gig. We were staying in Camden, which made it easy enough to walk down to Soho early morning. We’d signed up for the ‘In the City’ tour, which is run by Paul Weller’s sister, old mate and biographer. That’s three people, rather than one.

It was very good, calling at a few recording studios, including Solid Bond. Some defunct and some still going gig venues, as well as what was the highlight for me, the Apple building where The Beatles did their rooftop concert. It’s smaller than it seems in the footage, so no wonder the noise carried easily down to street level.

After lunch I took the tube out to Leyton, for the League One fixture between Leyton Orient and Rotherham United. Leyton seems ok, with lots of Victorian/Edwardian terraced houses that I imagine probably go for a couple of million quid.

There was a statue of former Orient player Laurie Cunningham, who had previously got a mention on that morning’s music venue tour. Apparently, he was a regular at some daytime disco on Wardour Street in the seventies.

I’d bought my match ticket online in advance for the East Stand, which looks to be the oldest of the four seating options. Even though I’d had my lunch, I couldn’t resist a pre-match snack of that East End staple, pie, mash and liquor. I’m more familiar than most with pie and mash, but liquor was new to me. I don’t see its appeal spreading northwards though, as it is a watery, tasteless green gravy.

I’d looked up the players at each club that morning and was pleased to see that former Boro players AJ Matthews and Aaron Connolly currently play for Orient, whilst Duncan Watmore and Jordan Hugill are on Rotherham’s books.

The fixture meant little to Rotherham, who had already been relegated earlier in the week, but Orient were still in a four-way scrap to avoid the drop. The people around me were nervous and saw the fact that Rotherham had nothing to play for as a bad sign.

They were correct to be pessimistic as an away goal in each half clinched the points that were no longer of any benefit to the visitors and made an Orient relegation more likely.

Of the ex-Boro players, the was no sign of Matthews or Watmore, whilst Hugill didn’t get off the bench. Aaron Connolly came on as a sub in the second half for Orient to the kind of reception reserved for players who have been missing for a while and whose reputation has grown during their absence. He tried to make things happen but was hampered by being just as fucking useless as he was for us. Maybe if Orient do go down, he might find his level.

Colne FC v MSB Woolton FC, Saturday 7th February 2026, 3pm

March 9, 2026

Jen and I had spent the week in Barnoldswick, primarily so that we could see a couple of shows from a Mott the Hoople tribute band. I know. I rarely bother with tribute acts other than when Sea Power do their Modern Ovens homage to Jonathan Richman, but I’m coming to terms with the fact that if I want to see certain songs played live, then it isn’t going to be by the original artists anymore. Nobody complains that Bach isn’t present in person at Last Night of the Proms, so maybe I’ve been unfairly maligning tribute bands over the years.

This band had Zak Starkey on drums and a guitarist called Bucket who has stood in for and played with Mick Ralphs at Bad Company. Tributes tend to stand or fall on the quality of the frontman though and Johnny Barracuda of the Soho Dukes captured the essence and voice of Ian Hunter well enough for it to work out ok.

The venue only holds sixty, so it’s unlikely that anyone was making much money from the shows, but they looked as if they were enjoying it. Perhaps they will try and tour it in bigger venues.

On a different evening we went back to the same venue to see a couple of folk singers. I’m ok with folk if it’s the kind of folk that Withered Hand or Boo Hewerdine does. This was more traditional with most of the non-original songs being about yonder maidens in the morn and such like. The two singers were undoubtedly talented, but I found it all a bit ‘hey nonny nonny’.

I’d planned to take in a game on the Wednesday night but it was just too cold for me to be outside. That meant Saturday provided my first option with a tenth tier North West Counties League Division One North fixture at nearby Colne.

It was seven quid in at the Holt House Ground. There was covered seating down one side and covered standing behind the goal at the top of the sloped hill. A few picnic tables provided options for days when the weather was nicer. A cabin was selling Haffner’s Pies, which are presumably well-known in these parts. I tried one, but it wasn’t as good as the ones I’d been getting from a shop in Barnoldswick that sells out its entire stock by around midday.

Woolton had the advantage of kicking down the slope in the first half and made the most of it, going in three up at the break. It reminded me of playing for Freddy Natt juniors and our belief that if we were kicking uphill in the first half and could keep the deficit to two goals at half-time, then we were likely to come out on top by the end. I’ve no idea how often those circumstances ever occurred, but it’s the sort of nonsense that ten-year-olds trotted out as gospel in those days.

Maybe the Colne players had a similar belief as they came out fully fired up. They scored twice in the first three minutes and had another effort disallowed soon after. The momentum was certainly with them in a game that Woolton probably thought had been already won.

Colne had to wait until the eighty-seventh minute for the elusive third goal. It came after a visiting player was dismissed for a second yellow. The miscreant had barely reached the dressing room before the resulting free kick was floated into the box and scrambled home.

The hosts pressed for a winner, but the ten men held on for a point that seemed fair to me.

Derby County v Middlesbrough, Thursday 1st January 2026, 3pm

January 2, 2026

Well, that’s another year done. 2025 started slowly for me as I was in Saudi Arabia for most of the first couple of months, but once I returned to the UK at the end of February, I was able to start seeing a bit more football. I went to ninety matches in 2025, spread over eleven countries and seventy-four stadiums of which sixty-three were new grounds for me. I got to see the Boro play on twenty-five occasions.

I think my football year highlight was seeing the Boro rattle in four first half goals at Hull. I actually laughed out loud when the fourth went in. A visit to Millmoor for a Doncaster Belles game some forty years on from my last time there watching Bruce Rioch’s Boro was an enjoyable trip down memory lane. It was good to get around some of the lower-tier Swedish grounds in the summer and watching the Saudi Clasico in the King Abdullah Sports City Stadium was a perfect way to bring my Saudi time to an end. Ticking off the San Siro might just be worth a mention too.

It was a good year for gigs. I managed to get to forty, despite it all tailing off in the last two to three months of the year. I only saw Sea Power three times in 2025, but two of them were at Krankenhaus which really is a joy to attend. John Bramwell topped the frequency list with five shows. I now know his between song patter better than he does. I also saw Boo Hewerdine three times with his best gig coming as his Hotel Art guise in Glasgow. Honorable mentions for The Molotovs, Mike Monroe, Sparks, David Cronenberg’s Wife and Edwyn Collins. Seeing Darts forty-seven years on from the last time I saw them was an interesting experience, but I think I’ve lost the taste for doo-wop revivalists. No Weller or Bragg gigs for the first year in a while.

Jen and I got out for a walk in 2025 more frequently than we’d managed in the previous couple of years, finally finishing the Cleveland Way thirteen years after starting it and then making a solid start to the Yorkshire Wolds Way. We managed twenty-three hikes in total which isn’t too bad, but I’d like to step it up in 2026.

And so to 2026 and a New Years Day fixture against Derby. It’s eighteen years since I last bothered going to Pride Park but I’m enjoying the Boro’s season and so I thought I might as well nip down there. I’m also trying to rack up enough priority points to have a chance of going to Wrexham in the final game of the season, so every match helps.

It’s an easy two-and-a-half-hour drive south and I was able to park roadside about twenty minutes in the right direction for a swift post-match getaway. The Boro end had sold out, and the stadium looked full. It was good to see hardly any seats lost to segregation with just a double line of hi-viz stewards separating the fans.

Pride Park has the same main stand with a horseshoe design as the Riverside, although Derby went ahead and filled in the corners during the initial construction phase. I think their use of one of those corners for boxes and a scoreboard is an improvement on the Riverside set up. They’ve also put rail seating behind one goal and in the away section.

One of the downsides of a sold-out section is that you can’t move if you don’t like the people around you. I was surrounded by a combination of old blokes planning their next day out at a Tommy Robinson march and some of the most negative dickheads around.

They were adamant that all of our players were fucking bellends. Our tactics were shite and our recruitment was shite. All of this absolute shiteness had to be constantly pointed out just in case there was any doubt in the minds of anyone within earshot. Life in its entirety was shite. It was difficult to see what pleasure any of them hoped to obtain by attending. Or by existing. What made it bearable was that the most negative dickhead had a high pitched squeaky voice. It was as if he was alternating his sniffs of coke with inhaling from a helium balloon.

The match followed the recent pattern of us dominating, missing an early chance or two that would likely have led to a win, before conceding and then failing to break down ten men sat deep. All we need is for one of those chances to go in. The defeat dropped us down to third with Ipswich moving past us. Maybe a new striker or two in January will take us back to winning ways.

Doncaster Rovers Belles v Chorley Women, Sunday 12th October 2025, 2pm

November 28, 2025

This game came about because Jen was attending a Sunday afternoon talk in Sheffield about murder. Jen and I get on great, but if ever we don’t then I doubt she would need to bother with a divorce. She knows all about which poisons are hard to detect, for example, and the multiple ways to dispose of a corpse.

As a way of keeping on her good side, the previous two days had been spent at gigs, Jeffrey Lewis in York and the Twisterella festival in Middlesbrough.

The Jeffrey Lewis gig was at The Crescent in York on the Friday evening. We stayed over on what was a busier day than it might have been due to the races being on. By the time we got to town, most of the population were staggering around pissed. Maybe there is some benefit in knowing how to feed people to pigs.

Lewis terms himself as ‘anti-folk’. I’ve no real thoughts on whether that really is a thing or not, but he put on a good show in a small venue.

Saturday was Twisterella, a music festival based mainly at Teesside University. With three stages within about twenty yards of each other it was very easy to see bands in quick succession. Some I liked, others I was less keen on, but the ones that weren’t for me provided an opportunity to go out to the terrace and catch up with people for an outdoor drink on a day when it was just warm enough to do so.

Later on, we wound our way down to Baker Street for a George Bailey pop up set at the Twisted Lip and that might have been my favourite part of the day.

My plan for occupying myself whilst Jen was doing her murdering lessons was to go to watch Sheffield Women play at their Home of Football stadium. Unfortunately, it was a fixture that had been rescheduled for some other date and neither Futbology nor I had properly checked. A quick search revealed that there weren’t any new ground options available, but there was a game at Rotherham’s old ground, Millmoor. I headed there instead.

I’d last been inside thirty-nine years ago in our third division promotion season, although I had mooched around the outside when taking in a game at the nearby New York Stadium a couple of years ago. Rotherham moved on from Millmoor in 2013, but it seems longer, both in my memory and from the way the stadium looked.

I parked across the road from the ground, although if I’d driven on for fifty yards, I could have left the car at the ground itself. After initially just wandering in through an open door, I went back out and re-entered via a turnstile having handed over four quid. Only two stands were open. The main stand was fenced off, and it looked like seats had been removed. I don’t know whether that was just to recycle them or whether it was part of a pending demolition process.

It was like going back in time. Millmoor was quite an old-fashioned ground in the eighties and the current layer of dust across the stadium just added to the feeling that I was back in a bygone age. The only modern day quirk was a ‘No Vaping’ sign. I got chatting to a steward and he mentioned that prior to taking the job it had been fifty years since he was last inside the ground, as part of a half-time marching band.

Chorley were the better side. They took an early lead from the penalty spot and added a second before half-time. At the break I nipped out for an egg and bacon sandwich from a van before watching the second half from various vantage points in the stand along the side of the pitch. There were no more goals and Chorley took the points.

Grangetown Boys Club v Sunderland West End, Saturday 4th October 2025, 3pm

October 26, 2025

Quite a few games were being called off due to the effects of Storm Amy, so I didn’t really want to travel too far just in case I turned up at a ground an hour away with a postponed sign on the gate. Fortunately, I’d still to visit the Northern League’s Grangetown Boys Club and so I decided to make the short trip to their Trunk Road ground.

The night before, Jen and I had been at Coulby Newham Cathedral to see John Bramwell. It’s quite a modern building for a church and it solves the problem of sitting on hard wooden pews by hiring out cushions. The gig was good, but as it’s the fifth time we’ve seen him this year, I know his anecdotes word for word.

Grangetown’s ground proved harder to find than I’d anticipated, as I’d left my phone in the house by mistake. The sat nav in the car isn’t the best, but my old-skool technique of just driving around Grangetown until I saw the pitch worked in the end.

It was a fiver to get in and I bought a programme and a chip butty from the food kiosk behind one of the goals.

Grangetown Boys Club dates back to the 1940’s with most of their time having being spent in the now-defunct Teesside League. They gained promotion from the North Riding League in 2024 and so this is just their second season ever in the tenth tier. The visitors, Sunderland West End, have been in the Northern League for a few seasons now, but haven’t ever really looked as if they might reach Division One.

As Grangetown haven’t been long at this level, their ground is still developing. There was a fifty-seater shipping container stand along one side of the pitch with two covered ‘bus stop’ type sheds providing somewhere to shelter when it rains. There was also a portacabin bar that seemed popular with a bunch of older fellas who looked to be on some sort of jolly.

The Northern League has a rule that spectators can only stand in areas where there is hard standing and not grass. This meant that half of one side of the pitch and the area behind one goal were out of bounds. Some concreting preparation was going on, so hopefully it won’t be long before there are views from the full perimeter. It could also do with some fast-growing trees planting between the pitch and the trunk road, to reduce the risk of wayward clearances hitting cars.

The attendance was announced as eighty-four. In addition to the jolly boys, there were a few fans from West End, many of whom might have been unselected players and their Mams. I spent the first half of the game in the container stand picking up snippets of info from some of those in the know.

For the second half I moved to the rail on the far side. The hills provided a better backdrop than the road.

The wind made play difficult and neither side had many clear chances on goal. West End upped their game in the second half and took the lead with around twenty minutes to go. Grangetown had a few chances afterwards, but the visitors held on to take the points.

Middlesbrough v Stoke City, Tuesday 30th September 2025, 7.45pm

October 2, 2025

The Boro’s draw at Southampton had kept the unbeaten start to the season going but opponents Stoke have also shown good early form and were one of those teams sitting four points behind us in the table. I wasn’t expecting an easy game.

Away from football, Jen and I had been out at gigs the two previous nights. Firstly, Martin Stephenson at the Waiting Room. He put on a decent show, with as much time spent on anecdotes as songs. I was chatting to him afterwards and he mentioned that he doesn’t have a setlist and just plays whatever comes into his head. Nice bloke.

The other one was Edwyn Collins. He’d announced a farewell tour, and we nipped down to Buxton for it. He had a stroke twenty years ago and so he doesn’t play the guitar on stage anymore but instead sits in a chair and sings. Whilst his speech wasn’t as flowing as it might once have been, his singing voice seemed spot on. He played both his hits and went down very well with a crowd happy to see him one last time.

Harry and I got to the game in good time, but Tom didn’t arrive until five minutes after kick-off. There’s an ongoing problem with the turnstiles and not only did his season card fail to work, but the replacement paper ticket didn’t either. He had to return to the West Stand office for a second replacement ticket, which eventually allowed him to get in.

Despite playing with wingbacks all season, Rob Jones sprung a surprise by starting with a back four. This allowed us to add Alan Browne to the established Hackney/Morris midfield and play with a 4-3-3 formation. A very early injury to George Edmundson meant that Sammy Silvera had to play almost the whole game in the unfamiliar position of right full back. He did ok and I thought the extra man in the middle meant that we looked more threatening when we had the ball.

Unfortunately, we couldn’t break them down and didn’t come any closer to scoring than having a decent penalty shout denied. We were solid at the back though and held on for a nil-nil. It’s a game that we might very well have lost last season under Carrick. The point maintained the four point gap to Stoke, who moved into second place behind us. So, eight games in where are we? I’ll tell you. We are top of the league, say we are top of the league.

North Ormesby v Redcar Town Reserves, Saturday 27th September 2025, 2pm

September 28, 2025

The day’s main event was the Gathering Sounds music festival in Stockton, which starts early afternoon and goes on until late evening. I’m not one for knocking back the beer for hours on end these days and so thought that if I took in game with a two o’clock kick-off first then I could be in town for around 5pm. It all went to plan, and Jen and I saw a few bands before meeting up with friends a couple of hours in.

Most of the early bands that we saw were ok, but nothing special. O’Phantom in Arc2, Risco in Ku Bar and End Credits in The Social Room. Highlight of the day for me was The Kairos, I’ll certainly look into them a little more. Paul had come primarily to see a young Sheffield band, Cruz. I thought that a couple of their songs were foot tappers, but they didn’t really grab my attention. Mark steered us back to The Social Room for Carsick, a band that I’ve seen before, and thought were decent last time. I was less impressed with them on this occasion, maybe they’ve changed direction a little.

We ended up in The Georgian, primarily for their tables and chairs than for any of the bands, and it was a good end to the evening.

The football earlier in the day was in the eleventh tier Premier Division of the North Riding League. North Ormesby were hosting Redcar Town Reserves on the far pitch at the Unity City Academy. That’s a school in old money. The North Riding League is a feeder to the Northern League. Despite the trek across the fields and the lack of any seating or even hardstanding, thirty-five people had turned out to watch.

One of the linos was late and so we had the unusual situation where the one who had turned up just loitered by the halfway line until the other one arrived. The Redcar manager seemed to have the ear of the ref and regularly persuaded him to make North Ormesby move their free-kicks back a few yards. This infuriated the home side, but I suspect that they would have achieved similar results if they had agitated for them in the same way. Instead, they spent their time shouting on the ‘doggy boys’ with rallying calls such as ‘doggy organise’ or ‘doggy focus.’

The standard was poor and maybe ‘doggy shite’ was more appropriate. I doubt that any of the players on show would have looked comfortable one step higher. Very few moves lasted more than a couple of passes before breaking down and it seemed for a while that neither side would even get a shot on target.

The Doggy Boys broke the deadlock just before half time with a penalty. They looked as if they might hold on to their lead, but a Redcar equalizer five minutes from full-time gave the visitors a share of the points.

Bridlington Town v Mossley AFC, Saturday 6th September 2025, 3pm

September 9, 2025

I wasn’t a cool kid. I’ve never been cool as an adult either, not even in that ‘so uncool that you actually are cool’ kind of way. As a thirteen year old and when my cool mates were listening to punk and new-wave, I was listening to The Beatles, Mott The Hoople and Darts. Yes, Darts, a doo-wop revival combo.

They were the first band that I ever saw live. Possibly because The Beatles and Mott The Hoople had already broken up. It was at Middlesbrough Town Hall in June 1978 and, as it was half-term, I even popped along to Debenham’s in Stockton for a signing session earlier in the day. The nine Darts members signed my album and singles and didn’t complain when I rejoined the queue and got them to sign a paper bag as well.

Forty-seven years and three months later, Jen and I went along to Cottingham Civic Hall where I saw Darts for a second time. They played all the songs I’d liked as a thirteen-year-old. Four of the nine who had signed my Debenham’s bag were on stage, two others were dead and three had moved on from their doo-wop revival days. It went well. I doubt I’ll see them for a third time, but it was an enjoyable evening of uncool nostalgia.

Cottingham is close to the start of the Yorkshire Wolds Way and as we were staying in the area we took the opportunity to begin yet another of the National Trails. We recently finished the Cleveland Way, a mere thirteen years after starting it, and currently have Hadrian’s Wall and the West Highland Way in progress.

We set off from Hessle and over the course of two days covered fourteen miles walking to Welton and back. The wildlife highlight was a vole that was so fat to be virtually round. I’ve no idea if they hibernate, but if they do, it looked ready.

There were plenty of options to see a game in the eleventh tier Humber Premier League, but instead I chose to drive forty minutes north to Bridlington for a First Qualifying Round tie in the FA Trophy. Bridlington Town of the eighth-tier Northern Premier East Division were taking on Mossley AFC, who play in the equivalent West Division.

The East Division is the league that most Northern League teams are allocated to if they achieve promotion, so I was interested in seeing the relative strengths of the teams. It’s no more than a rough guide though, especially since Bridlington are second in their division, whilst Mossley are towards the bottom end of theirs.

I’d read that there was plenty of parking at the ground, but a quick circuit of the car park suggested that we’d arrived too late. There were plenty of spaces in the nearby streets though and we were soon in the turnstile queue for the Mounting Systems Stadium.

It was nine quid admission and, whilst most of the 455 attendees were already inside, there were plenty of seats in the main covered stand.

In addition to a covered stand that ran the entire length of one side of the pitch, there was also a covered standing area behind one goal and a kind of bus stop structure opposite the main stand. Brid, as their supporters seem to refer to them, had a small group of ultras with a drum, whilst Mossley were supported by around forty fans at the far end.

At half-time I queued for a baked potato at the opposite end and was joined by the Mossley fans who had switched locations to stand behind the goal that their team were now attacking. That sort of flexibility is one of the things that I enjoy about football at this level.

Football-wise, Brid took the lead within the first minute of the game. I wondered if we might expect a rout, but the contest was fairly even after that. The early goal was enough though as the home side held on despite nine minutes of frantic added time efforts from visitors.

Askam Utd v Crooklands Casuals, Saturday 23rd August 2025, 11am

September 5, 2025

The August Bank Holiday weekend is rapidly becoming associated, for me at least, with Sea Power’s Krankenhaus Festival. This will be the fifth one that they’ve held at Muncaster Castle and Jen and I have been to them all. The first one, back in 2019, had fewer than four hundred attendees and probably many of them were gatecrashers who had been alerted to the complete lack of security.

This year the capacity had reached fifteen hundred and that’s as high as I’d like it to go. Part of its charm is the lack of crowds and, whilst I appreciate the need for it to at least break even, it was very full inside the barn for the higher profile bands.

Despite the increased capacity, the festival was still a success. Hamish Hawk was very well received, as he had been last time he appeared. I can’t really understand how he isn’t bigger. There was a short performance from Stewart Lee, prior to him introducing The Nightingales. I wondered if he might struggle a bit as most of his humour relies on slow burning build ups and looping back to previous references. I needn’t have worried, as he nailed it.

The highlight though was Sea Power. It always is. For their Friday night performance, I started off a few feet from the stage, but it got too hot and after being clonked on the head by a surprisingly heavy wooden owl that was being dangled from a fishing rod, I moved to the colder air outside the barn and watched the rest of the set from there.

We stayed offsite, in a small place near Santon Bridge. It was ideal for a Sunday morning walk along a Forestry Commission path to Mitterdale. We didn’t see much in the way of wildlife other than a few sheep and I’m not sure that they count. As you’d expect, the views were great. When the path became boggy, we called it a day and turned around, but the six-mile stroll with plenty of ascent was worth doing.

Unsurprisingly, I took in a football game. I’d originally planned to head up to Whitehaven, but their 3pm kick-off would have meant missing Hamish Hawk. For an alternative I found a game that was kicking off at 11am as part of a groundhopping weekend. It was at Askham and involved an hour-long drive down some country lanes that were barely wide enough for one car, never mind two.

It was a fiver to get in and that included a programme and a team sheet, something that a lot of groundhoppers regard as essential to their experience.

Inclusion on a groundhopper tour significantly boosted the attendance. There were close to four hundred people there, mostly blokes on their own and of a similar age to me. The club had pulled out all of the stops to provide facilities and hopefully make a few bob from the day.

There was a small stall with Askam merchandise, including shirts that were presumably last season’s match kits. Further along, someone had two full tables of pin badges. He also had replicas of the Champions League, Premier League and FA Cup trophies. Selfies could be taken with the trophies at a pound a pop. An outdoor bar sold cans of beer and soft drinks but I resisted all of the spending opportunities until I reached the food stall where I spent my cash on a bacon and egg roll instead.

The Duddon Road ground doesn’t have any stands or seating, although there were a few picnic tables along one side of the pitch. There are houses along two sides of the pitch and some picturesque views of the sea behind one goal and the hills behind the touchline with the picnic tables.

It was a grass pitch and after the summer that we’ve had was mainly yellow and in need of some rain. It would have benefitted from some levelling too, with one section in particular sloping upwards towards the corner flag.

The fixture was in the twelfth-tier Division One of the West Lancashire League. According to the programme, Askam hadn’t been doing too well so far this season, but they had most of the early possession and better chances.

Crocklands took the lead against the run of play a quarter of an hour in, when a third effort was driven home after the keeper had beaten out the previous two attempts at goal.

Askam stepped up the pace in the second half but despite the pressure couldn’t force an equalizer. Most of the crowd moved on to Dalton for their second game of a three match Saturday itinerary, whilst I headed back up the road to Muncaster with sufficient time in hand for Hamish Hawk’s afternoon set.