Akritas Chloraka v FC Krasava Ypsonas, Monday 6th April 2026, 7pm

April 9, 2026

The second game of the Cyprus trip was in Paphos, just half an hour’s drive from where we were staying in Thrinia. I’d been speaking to a local that morning and he told me that there were two topflight teams in town. His team, Paphos, were the most successful, but for this season they had been joined by a smaller club, Akritas. He reckoned that they were so small that there wasn’t a rivalry and, anyway, they were headed straight back to division two.

Jen and I were in Paphos for most of the day and walked along the coast for a nine-mile round trip. We passed the archaeological site that we’d previously visited and noted that it extended a lot further that we’d realized. There were no snakes out and about but we did see some frogs at an inlet as well as a field full of goats.

There was no shortage of cats. Cyprus seems to be full of them. We’ve been asked not to feed them where we are staying and a restauranteur told Jen off for slipping some suckling pig to a ginger tom under our table. It seems such a miserable attitude to me, although when I think back to our time in South Africa, the odd scrap left on the patio escalated to us hanging chicken necks from a tree and then a dozen feral cats taking up residence under our decking. Maybe they have a point.

I returned in the evening to the Stelios Kyriakides stadium. It’s apparently also the home of Paphos FC. I’d bought a fifteen euro ticket for the main stand and also applied for and received my digital fan card, which is a requirement for all games at the top level in Cyprus.

It seemed like a bit of overkill as there were only around two hundred and fifty spectators in the ground. Fifty or so of those were away fans in the uncovered seating opposite, with a couple of hundred home fans and tourists in the central section with a partial roof. Whilst the ground capacity of 9,200 was more than enough for this game, I’m not sure that it would be suitable when Paphos play their Champion’s League fixtures.

Both ends of the stadium were just grass and the running track around the pitch meant that we were further from the action than I’d have preferred.

Kravasa were the better side and were two up at half-time. I nipped down to the bar and got myself something to eat that looked like a giant croquetta, filled with minced beef. I’d have enjoyed eating it back in my seat more if it hadn’t been for all the smokers around me.

Falling two goals behind seemed to discourage Akritas and they didn’t show much ambition to get back into the game in the second half. They looked worried that Krasava might rattle up a cricket score if they threw too many men forward. The visitors didn’t take any more of their chances and it finished up as a two-nil away win.

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AME Kouris Erimis v Omonoia Pseva, Saturday 4th April 2026, 4.30pm

April 8, 2026

Jen and I had booked a fortnight in Cyprus back in December, well before the latest Middle East drama. My Mam was convinced that we should cancel, particularly after the drone attack on one of the military bases, but that’s what Mams always say.

We were staying up in the hills on the edge of a small village, so I doubt there was much prospect of any missiles heading our way. It was quiet enough, certainly more so than in Paphos, which had so many Brits strolling around that it might as well have been Scarborough.

As you may have suspected, a reason for selecting Cyprus was that it is one of the countries where I’d yet to see a football match. There weren’t too many options with our first week coinciding with the break for the international fixtures.

One week in, we headed eastwards towards Erimi for a game in the third division. We stopped off at the archeological site at Kourion for a wander around the ruins. It was worth a look, with some well-preserved mosaics. I’d seen a snake the previous day, when wandering around some ruins in Paphos, and so spent most of my time hoping to see another.

We also had time to visit Kolossi Castle before the match, but there were no snakes there either. After a quick lunch, we drove further into Emiri to the Koinotiko Stadium. It had started to rain whilst we were at the castle and so Jen decided that she would stay in the car.

I paid my six euros admission and in a segregated ground had a choice of left or right. I went left and found myself in with the away fans. There wasn’t any shelter and so I just took a place at the top of the terracing where I was able to see most of the action over the top of the pitch side fencing.

The game was a relegation battle. Kouris Emiris, in fifteenth place in a sixteen-team division, looked doomed with only six points all season, but Omonia, in fourteen place, still might avoid the drop into the fourth tier.

The rain got heavier as the first half progressed. A lady very kindly insisted that I took her umbrella on the basis that she could share the one that her son was using. I was very grateful.

It was a typically hard-fought game, with lots of tackles flying in. Both benches screamed for everything, and I thought the ref did well to keep control.

The visitors took the lead after twenty minutes. The shot beat the keeper but slowed before it reached the line. The defender’s desperate lunge was just too late to keep it out and all those around me forgot the rain in the celebrations.

The weather improved in the second half as Kouris Emiris came back into the game. They equalized on the hour and after the visitors had a man sent off, nicked a winner with ten minutes to go. I felt sorry for the lady who had lent me her umbrella as even a point would have moved her team out of the bottom three, but that’s how it goes.

The game took the total number of countries where I’ve watched a football match to sixty-eight.

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Blackburn Rovers v Middlesbrough, Saturday 21st March 2026, 12.30pm

April 7, 2026

With being in Spain, I’d missed the past four Boro games. We’d done ok away from home with convincing wins at QPR and Birmingham, but the Riverside form continued to disappoint with just a single point taken from the visits of Charlton and Bristol City. I’d hoped that with this game being on the road, we might continue our excellent away form in front of an impressive 7,400 travelling contingent.

Jen and I travelled across to Lancashire the evening before the fixture for a two-night stay on a farm next to Cliviger Gorge. Our house overlooked a pond and watching the wildlife was reminiscent of sitting at a water hole when we lived in South Africa, albeit with geese, cats and rabbits rather than hippos, elephants and crocodiles.

Ewood Park was a thirty minute drive away. I got there a little too late for parking close to the ground, but managed to find somewhere around fifteen minute’s walk away. There were long queues for the upper tier, but fortunately I was downstairs and was virtually straight in. Once inside I stood in line much longer for a drink and a hot dog.

It’s generally seen as a good thing when an away day has a sold out following of 7.400. There were more of us than there were Rovers fans. It doesn’t always work like that though as you get a lot of people there just for a day on the piss. Many of them think that they are entitled to stand whether they like, blocking aisles and people’s views.

When the game doesn’t go to plan there is far more abuse of the players than you get when the away support is capped at a couple of thousand. As time ticked on, the entitled trippers ripped into anything or anyone that they didn’t like. A fight broke out near me that I doubt very much would have done had the stand not been full of the twice a year attendees.

On the plus side, Graeme Souness was introduced to the crowd at half-time and got a good round of applause. I was hoping for a chorus of ‘Born is the King of Ayresome Park’ but not everyone in attendance is my age or more.

And the match? Well, we had all of the possession, but couldn’t take any of the many chances created. Results went our way elsewhere and so we stayed in second place with seven games remaining. Maybe it will turn out to be a solid away point.

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CD Rincon v Fuengirola Bowling Alleys, Sunday 8th March 2026, 12.15pm

April 2, 2026

We’d been staying at an Airbnb in Rincon de la Victoria which was only around fifty yards from the sea. That made it easy to have a stroll along the front before or after work, or even between meetings. The holiday season wasn’t yet up and running, but there were enough bars and restaurants for us not to become bored with any of them.

On Sunday morning I set off on my usual route, but before reaching the disused train tunnels I veered off to the right at the hut where we’d had sardine skewers two nights previously. I then headed to the outskirts of the town and the Francisco Romero Stadium.

My destination was the location for a second game of the weekend in the seventh tier First Andalucia (Malaga) division. Hosts CD Rincon were taking on Fuengirola Bowling Alleys. I think the visiting team’s name provides a reasonable clue to assessing the standard at this level.

Rincon were third in the table and looking likely candidates for a play-off spot. The Bowling Alley boys were back in ninth, but not completely out of the promotion race.

I paid my five euros admission and took a seat in the main stand that ran along one side of the pitch. It was only three rows deep but elevated so that it provided a decent view. There was another, less elevated, stand opposite. I could see the hills to the left and the sea to the right.

Rincon had most of the early possession and the better chances, but both sides managed to get the ball in the net only for their effort to be judged offside. As we neared half time a row broke out near me. I don’t think that it was between home and away protagonists, but more likely apologists v bedwetters from the same club. I find it hard to get passionate over the Boro these days, so it baffles me that people could come close to blows at a game involving a team representing a bowling alley.

At half time I wandered across to the other side of the ground and visited the bar for a drink. I think a lot of the old fellas sat at the tables had been there since kick-off or even earlier. Maybe it’s a way for them to have a few scoops with their mates before the seafront bars open for Sunday lunch.

The second half was hard fought on the pitch with no further aggro in the stands. There weren’t any goals though and we finished up with a nil-nil scoreline that I doubt either team were particularly pleased with.

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Atletico Estacion v Atletico Benamiel, Saturday 7th March 2026, 5pm

April 1, 2026

I hadn’t intended to be away from home this week, but we had Soph and the kids staying with us between house moves and it was clear that they would appreciate a bit of space. That’s fine, especially if it means a couple of weeks just outside of Malaga in the coastal town of Victoria de La Rincon.

I still had to work during the week but come Saturday we were free to drive to nearby Cartama. It’s a town where I’ve watched a game before, at the stadium just off the motorway.

This fixture was at the Campo de Futbol Antonio Jesus Mayo Canamero. We parked outside and went for a pre-match wander around town and some lunch. There was a street market opening up that sold nothing of interest to me. We briefly looked at the outside of a church but decided that we might as well return to the stadium, pay our five euros admission, and sit down for an hour before the game started.

The ground dates back to the late seventies and holds around a thousand. There are three rows of covered seating along one side and a standing area behind the goal nearest the entrance. The game between Atletico Estacion and Atletico Benamiel was in the seventh tier First Andalucia (Malaga) division. That sounds relatively high-level, but the Spanish Pyramid is so flat that it equates to tier ten or eleven in England, so Northern League Division Two, or even Wearside League.

The hosts began the game in fifth place, with the visitors in eleventh in a sixteen-team division. Estacion were supported by about two hundred fans, including a few ultras with a drum and some parents who had hung around after the earlier kids game on the same pitch.

Midway through the first half there was some fake crowd noise played over the loudspeakers. I remember Me Mark Page doing that during one of the Boro’s European games. Embarrassing really, although as we now know, that was the least of his noncesense.

I could describe some of the action but there were a lot of goals and, let’s face it, nobody reads these to find out who won. If by some chance you do, it was the Estacion by five goals to two.

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South Moor v Richmond Town, Saturday 28th February 2026, 2pm

March 27, 2026

With the Boro’s fixture having been moved to Monday, I had an opportunity to take in a new ground. Jen and I were heading up to Newcastle for a gig that evening and so I picked a game at Stanley in the eleventh-tier Wearside Premier League.

The gig was Michael Monroe, former frontman of Hanoi Rocks. We’d seen him a few months ago at a smaller Newcastle venue. This time he was the supporting act at Northumbria Institute to Buckcherry, a band that I’d not previously heard of. He was great, coming on at eight and knocking out fourteen songs in an hour.

His band looked to be the same as that previous time with Sam Yaffa and Steve Conte still in the line-up. Paul, who knows about these things, reckoned that they were ‘tighter’ nine months on from last time. Once they were done, we’d seen all that we needed to and didn’t hang around for the main event.

The football game, earlier in the day, was at South Moor Sports Club. It was three quid to get in and there was a food hut where I bought some chips with curry sauce. There was also a clubhouse bar where people watched the Sunderland game on what I presume was a dodgy television feed.

We followed the outdoor action from the picnic tables near the entrance before Jen went inside for somewhere warmer to read her book. I moved behind the goal to stand on some terracing that looked as if it might just have been rediscovered during an archeological dig.

South Moor started off kicking downhill and by midway through the first half they were two goals to the good. Richmond pulled one back just before the break. The second half was dominated by the visitors, and they finally got their equalizer a few minutes from time.

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Middlesbrough v Leicester City, Tuesday 24th February 2026, 7.45pm

March 17, 2026

Whilst we were away in Sweden, I’d missed the away game at Coventry and a home fixture with Oxford. Neither had gone well. Coventry outmuscled us and by switching to a more direct approach they took the points in a game where we often looked the better footballing side.

Oxford just defended deep. A ‘low block’ in modern parlance. We couldn’t break them down and it was two points dropped in a goalless draw against a side likely to be in the third-tier next season.

Whilst other results had gone in our favour at the weekend, a win against Leicester was needed. Kim Hellberg restored Ayling, McGree and Browne to the side which lined up in the way that most of the crowd would likely have selected from the available options.

It didn’t really work out though. They scored, we scored, then we pressured them a bit but couldn’t grab a winner. The dissatisfaction in the crowd was clear with the stadium almost empty as the players trudged around the pitch at full-time applauding near empty stands.

Two points from nine meant that Coventry were pulling away again and Ipswich, Hull and Millwall were closing in on our second position. It’s time to go on another of those winning runs

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Lulea v Brynas, Saturday 21st February 2026, 3.15pm

March 16, 2026

I’d been working Monday to Friday during the Lulea trip, so hadn’t got up to much touristy stuff during that time. One thing that we did do though was keep an eye out for the Northern Lights, or the Polar Lights as they call them in these parts.

We got lucky on two separate evenings. The first one was that classic green tint. Jen could see it in real time, but I could only capture it in a photo. The next evening it was a red tinge, visible even to me. Neither occasion was particularly spectacular, but at least I’ve seen the phenomenon now.

So, the hockey. It’s been an odd season for Lulea. They won the league last year and so have also competed in the Champions League this time around. They’ve done ok in the international competition and will line up in the Champions League final next month.

The domestic league hasn’t gone as well and for a long time they were in the lower half of the table. They’ve picked up though and have risen to sixth, which gets them into the play-offs. Today’s opponents Brynas were in seventh and so it was definitely a game with something riding on the outcome.

It was a close game, with Lulea eventually swapping their keeper for an extra outfield player and equalizing in the final seconds of normal time. Neither side scored in that five-minute play where each has removed two of their players from the ice and so it went to sudden-death penalties. I’ve not seen this previously in hockey, but it turns out that, as the keepers can virtually fill the goal, it is incredibly difficult to score.

It took about ten efforts before a puck went into the net to clinch the game. Lulea were the team that nicked it and the win consolidated their sixth place. It looks like the play-offs are on and I wouldn’t bet against them doing well in the post-season.

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Pitea v Skelleftea, Sunday 15th February 2026, 12.45pm

March 14, 2026

The second game of the weekend was at the Nolia Air Dome in Pitea. It is about a thirty-minute drive down the coast from Lulea. The main roads are well cleared of snow in the region, but I was glad of the deep-grooved winter tyres once we hit the town.

Pitea didn’t seem to have much going on. We had a brief look at a church and graveyard which we later saw as the picture on a jigsaw puzzle in the local Coop. There was a main street with shops, but a lot were closed as it was Sunday. On the plus side, the temperature didn’t ever fall below -15C, so there was less chance of me being frostbitten again.

The main reason for our visit though was the Nolia Air Dome and the game inside between Pitea and Skelleftea, who are from about an hour further down the road. The Air Dome looks like one of those modern tents that inflate rather than use poles, but I suspect there has to be more to it than that.

It had a concrete base, which was useful for resting up against, but no seating unless you brought your own. As the game progressed, more people wandered in and the attendance probably peaked at around fifty. Not bad for Sunday lunchtime.

Someone mentioned that Pitea were building up their squad for the upcoming season and that they were fielding a few triallists and loanees from other clubs. I’m not really sure whereabouts each side sits in the Swedish football pyramid, but I’d suspect that they are probably around the fourth tier or so.

Pitea scored from their first attack, just twenty-four seconds into the game. They added another midway through the first half with an effort that bounced off both posts and needed the lino’s intervention to confirm that it had gone in.

At that point I thought Pitea might run away with it, but Skelletea immediately pulled one back with a shot from the edge of the box. The visitors then drew level on the stroke of half-time.

It could have gone either way in the second half, with both sides giving their benches a run out. After some sustained pressure, Skelleftea capped their comeback with a deserved winner.

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Bergnasets v Boden, Saturday 14th February 2026, 6.10pm

March 13, 2026

For the past few months, I’ve been visiting Lulea for work. It’s up in Swedish Lapland and an interesting place to spend some time. Jen thought that it might be a good location to see the Northern Lights and so she tagged along for this trip.

We spent the first day walking along an ice trail that runs across the sea from the town centre harbour to a small island and beyond. A track had been polished that allowed people to skate or use some sort of snow walker. I think my skating days are done, but I was happy to give Jen a push on the walker thing.

We made it to the island and back in temperatures that varied between -26C and -29C. It’s fair to say that I didn’t really notice the difference between the two. Both were colder than my previous experiences in Atyrau and Moscow, where it didn’t ever dip below -25C. What I did notice though was my nostril hair freezing and ice forming around the stubble on my chin.

When we got back to the apartment, I discovered frostbite on my thighs, despite having worn two layers on my legs. As I write this a month later, it is still very visible, although it hasn’t yet turned black, which suggests that I probably won’t need my legs lopping off.

You’d think that temperatures like that would mean no football, but that’s not the case. It’s pre-season in Sweden and they get around the issue of frostbite by playing the games indoors. That meant that Jen and I could pop along to the Arcushallen whatever, stadium, complex, aircraft hanger?

We called into some Swedish burger chain for something to eat beforehand, where the highlight was seeing a couple of old blokes, presumably celebrating Valentines Day, eating ketchup mixed with a few sachets of salt whilst waiting for their order to arrive.

The pre-season friendly was between Bergnasets and Boden. It was a fixture that I’d seen for real the previous summer. There was probably a similar crowd of eighty or so on both occasions, but when it’s approaching thirty degrees below zero, there’s not many places you can leave the house for.

The game got off to a lively start with Boden going a goal up in the opening minute. They doubled their lead in added time at the end of the first half. I think both sides were drawing on some ringers and Boden had a bloke up front listed as Thor the Lion. I hope that really is his name.

The second half was both scrappy and closer, with each side scoring for an eventual 3-1 away win.

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